Michelle Obama Pitches ObamaCare to Young People on the Tonight Show

February/28/2014 5:36AM
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You stupid, ignorant, young people, you refuse to buy the First Lady’s health insurance. You insolent knuckleheads, listen up. If you are over 26 and haven’t bought the deal, you just don’t get the drift. If you are under 26 and not on the parents’ program, please consider this.

For only a couple of hundred dollars a month that you don’t have, you could have this.  If you cut yourself being careless and it costs $800 in the emergency room to fix you up, you get nothing for the $200 a month. If you cut yourself 10 times, you still get nothing. But, on the 11th cut, we will pay some of your cost. See what a knucklehead you are? If you fall off that bar stool and break your arm, and it’s $2,000 at the ER, you get nothing. If you fall three more times, nothing. But, on that 5th fall, we will kick in some money.

See, this is my version of my husband’s “if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor” deal. A big assed lie. Believe me, my big-assed lies are bigger than my scrawny husband’s lies.

See, here’s what I didn’t say. We have a little problem with ObamaCare.  People between the ages of 50 and 64 are signing up in droves. They can quit work and have insurance. That’s the only reason many are working. Our party line on that is this, “it’s a good thing a couple of million will quit work. That will give them a great chance to travel and enjoy life.” Despite Magic Johnson pimping for young people to sign up, they aren’t.  About 20% are unemployed, thanks to Barack’s policies, but we still want their money. See, 20% of those who have enrolled in ObamaCare didn’t make the first premium payment. Basically, it’s going to hell from an economical basis, but, if you young people will just default on those billions in student loans that Barack’s policies have caused, we can fix the economic bleeding.

So, let’s go knuckleheads, sign up and pay. Remember, you think we Obamas’ are cool, so put your money in the pot and help us regain cool again.

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