We are posting a job position. Minority candidates need not apply, since the previous job holder was a minority and we fired him by e-mail and telephone after 10 years of loyal service.
We should tell you we may be cutting budgets since we will no longer be getting tax dollars to support our company. Also, we may be re- branding. Our current brand, National Public Radio, may be taken from us for firing the aforementioned employee. Our new brand may be Public Socialist Radio.
Job applicants may under no circumstance work for Fox News or any other media that considers reporting anything other than far left views. It is fine to bash Christianity but you cannot say anything negative about the Muslim faith. You must know what we consider appropriate comments and not stray from those guidelines. If you should, even without knowing our position, you will be fired.
Most of our financial support now comes from George Soros, so you must read everything George has ever written and said and follow his tenets.
There may be Congressional hearings about us, but don’t let that deter you from applying. Our CEO may be leaving in a few days, but we will replace her with someone who also has equal empathy. We will notify her of her dismissal by e-mail and or telephone.
This company is supposed to reflect the people of this great country. But, if you have that talent, don’t apply. Remember, we all work for Soros and you must recognize he has no regard for the things that made this country great. He stands to benefit greatly if the country suffers, so you must be able to report things accordingly. You must recognize that Soros did not become a billionaire by helping countries succeed, but by making sure they fail. Greece is a good example.
Plus, none of our listeners come from middle America. They couldn’t find us on the dial if you paid them. It’s a great country where we can be funded by middle America while extending them the middle digit. Our listeners are primarily those who would like to see us become France.
Do not use Juan Williams as a reference. If you even know Juan, you are not to apply. The same is true for any other employee of Fox News. If you have read one word that Carl Rove has written, forget it.
If you have graduated from an ivy league school, worked for SEIU, studied under Bill Ayers, been involved in subversive activities, been trained in a Taliban camp, supported Obama, been a community organizer, lived in San Francisco, or watch Bill Maher, you are an ideal candidate.
We have a great deal of money from Mr. Soros to hire new reporters, so money is not an object. Ideology is all important. Our screening committee includes Chavez, Castro, Ayers, Attorney General Holder, and the Iranian Prime Minister, so be prepared accordingly if you get through the initial screening.
