In his hourly TV show the narcissist, unlikeable, insufferable, egotistical Barack Obama gave himself a B plus for his year as president. Mr. President, that’s exactly why in the private sector most of us had to endure an annual performance review. You are getting what might be a part of that review, something called 360 degree feedback. You get that in the form of a job satisfaction approval. It’s from your 300 million bosses. You also get one from the Congress. It’s called zero votes on any of your proposals to congress by the other party.
Mr. President, based on campaign promises, the feedback poll on job performance, and the complete lack of any supporters on the other side of the aisle, you get a D minus. We would fire you but we can’t. Not yet. We can fire some of your supporters next year and we will. Actually, you deserve an F, but you do read that teleprompter well. Being fair, we gave you credit for your only job skill for the job we hired you to do.
Typically, we consider this your job performance warning letter. Since your friends in the ACLU and fellow Democrats have worked tirelessly for the past twenty years to make it almost impossible to fire anyone for poor performance, we must follow the rules set down by Human Resources. Hence, you get the performance warning letter.
It’s always better for someone with a performance this bad to resign. Better for all concerned, but we know you won’t do that.
Here are some requirements to get your performance above minimum standards in the next six months or we will be pressing harder for the resignation.
You must close Gitmo as promised without spending a dime.
You must get your job approval rating above 55% and keep it there.
You must get unemployment to the 8.6% you promised in early 2009.
You must stay within your budget. You budget should be no more than you spent in 2009, since it was a record spending year for the country.
You must get Republican support of some kind for your proposals or change your proposals.
Your TV time will be cut from a minimum of one hour per day in 2009 to no more than one hour a week. When you use that hour, cut the verbosity and get to the chase. No more teleprompters in 2010. That skill has been demonstrated. Now we want to see if you can speak from the heart.
No more visits from Andy Stern to the White House. You work for us, not Andy Stern and the SEIU. The time you wasted with him is demonstrated in your dismal performance for 2009.
No more boondoggles in 2010. Trips to get the 2016 Olympic Games, trips to Copenhagen to endorse voodoo science–Al Gore was there already, and no more date nights in NYC with Michelle.
Finally, Mr. President, and read this carefully. No more blame games. One time blaming George Bush for something and you are fired. Nor, the Fat Cat bankers, Wall Street crooks, etc. President Truman laid it out how your jobs works. The buck stops with you. Man up, and start taking responsibility for your unacceptable performance in 2009. Only then, can you hope to improve enough to dodge the performance review warning letter we just put in your file.
