Why is Cattle Breeding like Washington Politics?

June/01/2009 20:22PM
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I sent several friends an e-mail of a poor heifer caught in a fence with her head between the bottom rail and the ground. The next picture shows a bull taking advantage of the poor heifer. The moral of the story was when you are in trouble and someone comes along they may not be there to help you.

My old friend, Joe, a farmer at heart, sent this response. I will add nothing to a perfect story.

As one that is familiar with most aspects of bovine reproduction, including (AI) artificial insemination, I think the current Washington administration uses the AI method more than the forced (cow’s head stuck between fence rails) natural breeding. There is a parallel to Washington tax money, deception and control.

1.The semen is extracted from the bull by deception. The bulls that are proven performers, by statistics, to increase milk production or improve feed to beef conversion ratios are teased into making a semen deposit. They are brought into a confined, dark area with a split ramp. The bull thinks he sees a a fine young heifer between his front legs as he walks up the split ramp. The bulls probably think this is a good thing; however, it is not a heifer, not even an old cow, it is a castrated steer. It is too late, the bull is ready to ejaculate, but does not even get the pleasure of the steer. At the last moment, the technician catches the semen with a plastic funnel with a plastic bag attached. Beginning to see the parallel with Washington?

2.The collected semen is not even used in the natural state. The semen is diluted so that even more unsuspecting heifers and old cows can be impregnated (more Washington monetary parallels). Now, frozen to liquid nitrogen temperatures in small vials, is stored for years or decades and shipped all over the USA.

3.The conception process is even more cold and lifeless, certainly no frolic in a grassy pasture by the heifer and bull. When the heifer ‘comes into heat’ (ovulates), the man comes with the glass rod and the vial of cryogenic semen for the AI process. Even less romantic, is in larger herds of cows and heifers (no bulls) the females are given a hormone so that they are ready for insemination all at the same time (like April 15). In my nephew’s herd, two technicians just did 256 heifers last week in one day.

The process is typical of Washington social programs (health care soon to be added), the heifer is clamped in to a narrow chute. The technician warms the frozen vial in a cup of water and uses a 18 inch glass rod with a suction bulb on the end to pull the semen into the tip of the glass rod.

Then the romance begins when the the technician thrust his plastic glove covered arm into the heifers rectum to manipulated the uterus (sounds like tax time). Then he or she sticks the glass rod into the heifers uterus, pinches the rubber bulb like a long eye-dropper and the semen is deposited. Although the heifer may weight 6 x the technician’s weight, the smaller government bureaucrat, I mean AI technician has complete control.

I have this vision when I stand in line to get my driving license, does it make me a safer driver? By contrast, when I renew my concealed gun carry permit every five years, it is an enjoyable, positive learning process…I digress.

This cycle goes on generation after generation. The herd does survive; however, the strongest bulls are not naturally selected, the best mother cows do not always care for the young calves, but the masters are in control and the cattle want for nothing except freedom to eat the greener grass just like in all socialist society.


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