Electric Cars are the Answer

January/15/2009 3:30AM
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I support electric cars 100%. They are the answer to global warming and the solution for transportation here in this country. There, now I’m just like Gore, Obama, and all you heady environmentalists. I’ve seen the light. I’m born again when it comes to fossil fuels. It feels like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I know I’m doing the right thing for my kids and grand kids. I’ve turned the corner and taken my share of responsibility for the planet and polar bears and all those other concerns we environmentalists have. 

Also, like all of you I am against all forms of electric power generation. Nuclear, absolutely not. We can’t possibly figure out how to get rid of the waste in a safe fashion. 

Clean coal. No way. It’s not clean enough to suit me. No new coal fired plants period.

Wind. OK, but with reservations. Not in my back yard. I’m with Ted Kennedy on that. The Bay Wind project for Cape Cod is bad. If you put it in your yard, wind is good, but no where near me.  Nor can you put any power lines that transport wind anywhere in nature. And, you have to find a way to spare the 2.5 birds each blade kills daily. And, the bats. Can’t kill them either.

Solar. Sure, but again not on my neighbor’s roof. I refuse to look out my window and see that junk yard on my neighbor’s roof. Put them in the desert. But, not near my Arizona home. And, no power lines in nature. And, no using solar to create steam, we can’t spare the water. Sure, most of the power will be lost between the cells and the consumer, but that’s a technology problem, not my problem. 

Natural gas for power generation. No. That will require either drilling or pipelines and I refuse to support either. 

Hydro. No way. Dams are unsightly and unsafe. 

Geothermal. Sure. But, don’t mess with Mother Nature to do it. Again, not where I live or hike. 

This is so easy being an environmentalist. You just give up all reason and common sense and don’t worry about the economy or tomorrow. Just be against everything that might be needed to produce the electricity and still support the electric car. Nothing to it.

I should conclude by saying I have no intention of ever buying an electric car myself. That would be like asking Al Gore to give up his private plane, his various limos, his huge house , his 100 foot house boat, or any of his energy slurping toys that make his carbon footprint one of the world’s largest. I made the conversion to environmentalist just like Al did with the full understanding that you make all the sacrifices, not me. Now, I have to work on Al’s deal where this conversion to elite environmentalist will make me millions of dollars and lots of prizes. More work to do.

Why would I buy a Volt? They cost $50,000 to make, and will sell for $40,000 with taxpayers picking up the tab for the $10,000 difference. I don’t want to add to the deficit. Plus it will only go 50 miles on a charge. That will barely get me to the golf course and back. No, you buy the Volt and I will take every opportunity to pat you on the back for making this a better place to live.

I  can’t wait to go to my next cocktail party and be on the side of the room with all the other environmentalists and talk about what we aren’t going to do. Such fun. Maybe I’ll go to a protest or two. I’m retired, what the hell. People watching should be good. Be like a part-time Walmart greeter.

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Comments (2)

  1. An electric car is an automobile which is propelled by electric motor, using electrical energy stored in batteries or another energy storage device

  2. I would say that electric cars are a great idea.
    Well, if you would ask the experts, they have a little chance of implemented globally.

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