Senator Warner Go to Hell

July/04/2008 20:37PM
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I’m feeling frisky on Independence Day. Senator Warner wants to make the national speed limit 55 again. Why is it senator, that you and your colleagues can never do something for me, it’s always something to me? Recycling old ideas is getting old, like you Senator. It’s time for you to retire and take all the other fossils in the senate and the house with you. Don’t tell me how fast to drive again. Why don’t you get on the throttle and get an energy strategy passed? It’s the pedal on the right, since you’ve been riding in a limousine for the past 30 years at my expense. 

Let’s turn the tables a bit here. I want to pass some restrictions too. I want to help you, your fellow senators, all congressmen, and all candidates for office to do something patriot on the Fourth of July. Here’s my plan. I want a bill passed that says it is illegal for any elected official, anywhere in the US to fly in a private aircraft. All of you must fly commercial, public aviation in coach. You say driving 55 saved several million gallons last time. I say gasoline lines saved several million gallons and driving 55 did nothing. If I want to save gas and drive 55, I will and I resent you telling me I must. But, I know my plan will save more in jet fuel  than your plan will in gasoline. Plus, it will do nothing to hurt productivity in this country, which your plan would. Since none of you have been productive for years, it will simply save fuel. Getting you there faster in a Lear Jet does nothing for the U.S. economy. In fact, getting you there slower in coach might cut down on the travel budget and that would be worth a lot. 

It will also be illegal for any such official to ride in a limo. Smart cars only. Room for your driver, since none of you can drive anymore, and you, that’s it.

While you are at it, all government owned vehicles must get a minimum of 35 MPG. All government buildings must have thermostats set at 85 in air conditioning season and 65 in heating season. 

You folks always have lots of ideas about how we can sacrifice for your incompetent work, let’s try some sacrifice yourselves to see how fast you can get off your fat butts and get some action on energy so you can get out of the penalty box.

It’s like watching a rerun of a bad movie. You drag the oil executives in and beat them up twice this year. No results. You threaten windfall profits tax–been there, done that, have the Jimmy Carter tee shirt, then the fiasco of suing OPEC, then the witch hunt for speculators. Next it will be allocation and rationing. But, you, Senator Warner, have to dust off the worst idea of all, reduce the speed limit again.

I’ve had it with the whole lot of you. You and Lieberman want to put in Cap and Trade and goose the gas price another $2.00. Senator, I can’t imagine why the good folks of Virginia keep putting you back in office, but I think your time has come and gone. 

The people are tired of you and your friends trying to make us into circus monkeys. Try dancing to our tune for a change. Start at home and try my medicine. All you fat cats flying around in private aircraft with carbon footprints bigger than a plant load of auto workers, need to listen up. We are mad and getting madder.

I hope another 300 million Americans send you a nice Independence Day note with with same message. Go to hell, kind sir. I will not let you set my speed limit. Citizens will reject your idea like a bad habit. It’s a prelude to your cap and trade inspiration. Senator, in all due respect, you are a bad idea. The poster boy for term limits.  

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