My Platform for President

February/07/2008 5:02AM
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I’ve decided to run for President of the United States. I’ve never held any elected office, but I believe I have a platform that will gain me overwhelming support from all voters. I will promise each and every American that I will assure you that you will go to heaven. Vote for me and you will spend eternity in heaven in God’s hands. 

Ridiculous. Maybe, but is it more insane than the promises I’ve enjoyed from the current crop of candidates. Obama promises change, but offers no plan. Hillary will lower gas prices, but doesn’t say how. A candidate can make any claim, since none of us requires specific details on how that claim is going to occur. Given that, why not my promise?

Hillary says her 35 years of experience will allow her to deliver her claims. I hope when I get my knee replacement in the next year or so, the wife of my orthopedic surgeon is not there to do it. I believe the probability of them delivering on their promises is no better than me delivering on mine. We as voters have a responsibility to require firm plans to support any claim and we don’t. Until we do, the claims will get more and more outrageous. 

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Comment (1)

  1. Pete says:

    Bill promising things for free is what put us in this situation in the first place. You should have an optional tax of $10 per year for those who want to go to heaven. It would be interesting to see how much you collect and it could help balance the budget.

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