Reasons Obama Won’t Bomb Syria in September

August/30/2013 5:29AM
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President Obama was busy on August 28th. He was warning Syria that he might bomb them or take some type of military action against them for unleashing chemical death on innocent women and children. It’s always good to let the enemy know what you plan to do so the enemy can react in advance of your attack. You’ll be watching that soon as college coaches hold their game day play cards over their mouths as they call in the plays to their quarterbacks. Lip readers across the field are a big threat.

But, the president couldn’t start the bombing on the 28th, that was the 50th anniversary of the Martin Luther King Jr. ” I had a Dream Speech”, and the President had to do his best imitation of King to show the country he was a far better orator than King could ever be. It was a beautiful Obama speech complete with great pauses and perfect sideways glances and stern looks in appropriate places. Unfortunately, he said nothing of consequence. Except that unemployment in the black community is twice that of the non-black community. Bush did that, of course, and congress must fix it.

Well, take a breather Syria, there won’t be any attacks from America in September. I’ve checked the calender and the month is chock full of days that will preclude military action just like the 28th of August. If a significant date falls on the calendar one must not bomb when there are speeches to make. I guess D-Day must have been a rare blank day, since Eisenhower went ahead with the attack that day. Of course Obama is no Eisenhower, Ike built most of the Interstate Highway system in a couple of years and Obama says there are no shovel ready projects in the country so he just blew the stimulus money on fun stuff.

There isn’t a day in September where Obama can go after Syria. Here’s the calendar:

1 Emma M. Nutt Day, the first woman telephone operator

2 Labor Day First Monday of month

2 National Beheading Day

3 Skyscraper Day

4 Newspaper Carrier Day

5 Be Late for Something Day

5 Cheese Pizza Day

6 Fight Procrastination Day (This is a true sign for Obama that we can delay)

6 Read a Book Day( One without pictures too)

7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day

8 Grandparent’s Day – first Sunday after Labor Day( Must speak to the growing senior population)

8 International Literacy Day

8 National Date Nut Bread Day – or December 22!?

8 Pardon Day ( Make up my list for 2016, do I let Blago out? Tony Rezko, who could put me in jail?)

8 National Pet Memorial Day -second Sunday in September ( funeral plans for Bo)

9 Teddy Bear Day

10 Sewing Machine Day

10 Swap Ideas Day( Get more leadership from Valerie Jarrett)

11 911 Remembrance

11 Make Your Bed Day

11 No News is Good News Day

12 Chocolate Milk Shake Day ( Plan another vacation, I so love those ice cream treats with the kids)

12 National Video Games Day – also see Video Games Day in July

13 Blame Someone Else Day – first Friday the 13th of the year. ( this is everyday for me, Bush, congress, the weather, etc.)

13 Defy Superstition Day

13 Fortune Cookie Day ( another Nobel Prize in my future?)

13 National Peanut Day

13 Positive Thinking Day

13 Uncle Sam Day – his image was first used in 1813

14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day

15 Make a Hat Day

15 Felt Hat Day – On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.

15 National Women’s Friendship Day – third Sunday in September

16 Collect Rocks Day

16 Step Family Day

16 Mayflower Day

16 Mexican Independence Day

16 National Play Doh Day

16 Working Parents Day

17 National Apple Dumpling Day

17 Citizenship Day

17 Constitution Day ( Someday I will read this thing)

18 National Cheeseburger Day

19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day( Arrrragh  Matey, I’ve got it)

19  National Butterscotch Pudding Day

20 National Punch Day

20 POW/MIA Recognition Day – Third Friday of September ( maybe I should mention something about Afghanistan, I haven’t for a year now)

21 International Peace Day ( really bad day to bomb)

21 International Rabbit Day – Fourth Saturday in September

21 Miniature Golf Day ( got to get that putting stroke fixed)

21 Oktoberfest, begins, date varies

21 World Gratitude Day ( keep the phone lines open for the millions of calls I’ll get today)

22 Business Women’s Day ( promise more free contraceptives)

22 Elephant Appreciation Day( really, I have to thank Boehner?, or be nice?)

23 Checkers Day ( was that Nixon’s dog?)

23 Dog in Politics Day( Bo was getting too popular, had to bring in the other dog)

24 National Cherries Jubilee Day

25 National Comic Book Day( can’t wait to see my action hero figure)

26 Johnny Appleseed Day

27 Crush a Can Day

27 Native American Day – fourth Friday of the month

28 Ask a Stupid Question Day (one of my favorite days)

28 National Good Neighbor Day – Always September 28, previously the 4th Sunday in month

27 Native American Day – fourth Friday of the month

29 Confucius Day – Try your luck. Get a Fortune Cookie.

30 National Mud Pack Day


Well, that’s that. As you can see, Obama has a busy September and no open dates to start another ill-advised war. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend, the world is safe for another month.

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