Congressional Monkey Business

June/25/2008 22:08PM
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Let’s assume you are the president of a corporation. Your company is under siege. Customer satisfaction is at an all-time low. You have many big issues that must be fixed and fixed soon or the company may go in the tank. You have established some priorities for the company. Energy, the mortgage mess, the sinking dollar, the debt that now equals $175,000 per person, national security, the falling stock market, consumer confidence sinking, unemployment, wars on two fronts, floods, and big time competition from China. You walk into one of your top honchos’ offices and say: " hi Bob, what are you working on today?" Is it fair to assume it might be something that would impact one of the aforementioned items?

What if Bob’s response is: "boss, we simply have to something about pet monkeys."

Would they have to peel you off the ceiling?

Last week, congress by a vote of 302-96 passed  the Captive Primate Safety Act, a step on the road to outlaw the ownership of pet monkeys. The senate is expected to get to work on the companion bill in the next few weeks.

I don’t know about you, but my response to Bob would be:" Bob, I hope you find something good in the area of animal rights in your next job, because you are done here at this company."

Isn’t it be enough that our lawmakers are so focused on issues they can find time to monkey around? Even worse, this will add to the 4,450 federal crimes on the books. The federal government was to be a government of limited powers. Now the government wants to get into the business of regulating monkeys. How fitting. Supposedly there are about 15,000 pet monkeys in the U.S., not counting those in Washington. Must seemlike a very high priority for the 26 co-sponsors in the House. 

So, if you were the president of the company with all of the problems mentioned above and 26 of your managers were working on pet monkeys, and 302 more agreed with the idea, what would you do? Probably resign. What hope is there for a company with so many problems and this kind of prioritization?

Pretty dismal prospects, right? I say once again, term limits must happen. We need to get the chimps out of Washington before they destroy us.  

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Comments (2)

  1. danny says:

    I totally agree. WIth all the problems we have and they waste time AND our HARD EARNED MONEY to stop people from keeping a pet. Does anyone even know anyone with a pet moneky? I would certainly like to the little fellow. It seems like more government money to waste, or lining their pockets. If people want to keep a monkey as a pet and spend the time and energy to raise one that should be left up to the person. It seems this bill will only be causing problems for LAW ABIDING citizens.

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