Saudi King Explains Capitalism to U.S. President

May/17/2008 13:09PM
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Press notices say the Saudi King politely turned the begging U.S. President down on his plea to sell more oil. Here’s what really happened.

While President Bush was groveling on his knees, the Saudi King said: Mr. President, let’s say I made widgets. Every month I get orders from customers for 300 widgets. The other widget makers in the world are making all the widgets they can make. You have to cut down a tree for every 10 widgets you make. We, and all the other widget makers are running out of trees but there is more and more demand for widgets. Yes, you are my biggest customer. But, if I make more widgets you are not going to buy more, if fact you have been buying less lately. My new customers(China and India) are buying more and one may replace you as my biggest customer soon. (China) So, Mr. President, if I make more widgets and you don’t buy them, what happens? Yes, the price of widgets goes down. But I don’t sell any more. So my revenue goes down, my cash flow goes down, and you benefit at my expense. 

So, Mr. President, let me ask you. Why should I cut the rest of my trees to make widgets and sell them for less money just because you can’t get your country to produce your own widgets? Mr. President you have a personal problem and I suggest you pay my price for widgets or go home and start cutting your own trees and making your own widgets which is all right with me since I will sell the widgets you don’t buy to another customer for my price today. 

Mr. President, my response is go pound sand and if you haven’t noticed there is a lot of it right here in this country you can pound.  

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