Al Gore Invents Something

May/20/2008 2:00AM
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Al Gore said he invented the internet. Only a few believed him. Undeterred, he went back to the lab. With lots of free time on his hands, he worked  and worked. One day Tipper heard him yell, Eureka, I’ve got it.

He invented a new approach for the liberals to use who want to make America a socialistic state. A new version of bait and switch. We marketing professionals can see through any bait and switch deal. Some are illegal, and this one should be for sure. Big Al rushed right up to see his buddies Ted Kennedy and John Kerry. They bought in quickly so he knew it was really good.

Here’s how it works. Al and the boys and girls from the left always wanted us to be like Europe. We are too rich, we spend too much, have too much, and don’t share nearly enough with those who have less. Kennedy has tried for years to sell this idea to the American people who have never bought the deal. Ted wants all of our money for the government and the less fortunate. He wants America to stop being the land of plenty for any but those who have enough to live in a "compound". That, of course includes Kerry and Gore. Actually, Kerry’s wife may have more than Teddy which John points out too often. And, Al, after the invention, may be getting close. But, back to the bait and switch. The liberals don’t sell sacrifice for the good of the country, they sell, sacrifice for the good of the planet. We’ll call it global warming, Al says. Kerry, only swift when in the swift boats, says, "I don’t get it."

So, Al, always the teacher, says we convince the country that there is a coming climate crisis. If we don’t sacrifice, we will create natural disasters. We get the liberal media to buy in and Hollywood will, of course, and we never, never mention liberal causes or socialism, we just stay on message. Global warming is destroying the world. We’ll throw in those lovable polar bears for good measure. We get a computer simulation of a glacier falling into the water and use that too. When the public buys in they destroy their lifestyle for the good of the planet, not the good of the party. Slick, eh, self-inflicted without even knowing they are doing it to themselves. 

In the end we get what we have always wanted. As energy prices go up, Americans have to live with less, like Europeans have for years. Cars get smaller or go away. Not ours, of course. Houses get smaller. The economy gets smaller. Everything gets smaller except government. And, taxes, of course. Now no one has much, so there is no class envy. We level the playing field like we have dreamed of doing for years. We get what we have always wanted, and never have to ask for it. It’s the perfect scam. Of course, we know what’s coming so we can benefit by investing wisely. We won’t be impacted. 

Ted and John turn to Al. "OK, Al, it’s the best idea ever. What do you want out of all this?" Al, always the public servant, says," not much, just a Nobel Prize, and Oscar, and a few hundred million dollars to tide me over when it all goes to hell. Maybe a nice cabinet position when the front man we choose gets elected. Head of the EPA, Secretary of Energy, or Secretary of the Interior. One of those. Something that will let me keep the hoax going until we don’t need it any more. By the way, I have an idea for the front man. That young senator from Illinois is perfect. We can make him believe we are serious about this global warming crap and get him elected on that platform. Change, that’s it."

So, now you know. You bought global warming hook line and sinker. But, what you really bought was the liberal socialist dream that will insure you, your kids, and your grandkids will have a much poorer life ahead. Their future sacrifices will line the inventor’s pockets and make Ted, and his liberal friends go to the grave with their dream in place. When our lifestyle is gone and our country is no longer the envy of the world, there will be others to blame. That’s how things work in Washington since we turned the country over to the lawyers. 

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Comments (2)

  1. Ken Dozier says:

    Although I agree with everything you are saying, but after hearing that Ted Kennedy has been diagnosed with the same brain cancer I have, I am going to give him a pass, because based on his diagnosis; he’ll most likely not be around very long, because 50% of us who are diagnosed with Glioma are dead with in 6 months.

    All I can do or say right now is, I’ll pray for him and his family and hope he is as lucky as I have been thus far.

  2. Bill Robertson says:


    Wonder if God will give him a pass for leaving Mary Jo in the car to drown.


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